Hello, wonderful friends! How truly are you feeling today? In the midst of life’s relentless pace, it’s a question worth pausing to consider.
This summer has unfolded with a whirlwind of activity, far exceeding my usual preference for quiet contentment at home. And, as many of you in warmer climates can attest, the heat has been absolutely relentless. As an Idahoan, I’m doing my best to embrace the summer sun, but a consistent 105+ degree heatwave certainly tests one’s resolve! It felt like the perfect moment to share some scattered thoughts and updates, a Friday tradition that allows us to connect on a deeper level. I’m eager to hear your reflections and stories in the comments below!
{This image perfectly captures my current coping strategy: seeking solace in the pasture alongside our charming miniature donkeys, indulging in Trader Joe’s mini ice cream cones, and, let’s be honest, temporarily escaping the demands of real life and my beloved children. No regrets!}
1) A Heartfelt Catch-Up: Navigating Grief, Growth, and Unforeseen Challenges
To my incredible readers, whether you’ve been part of this community for over a decade or are a more recent addition, I must express my profound gratitude. In the past six months, I have been truly overwhelmed by an outpouring of kind, heartfelt, and incredibly thoughtful messages of support and love. I always knew I was blessed with the best blog readers on the planet, but your compassion this year has solidified that truth in the most tangible way imaginable. Thank you for your unwavering empathy as I shared the deeply personal feelings surrounding the loss of my dear friend, Holli.
So many of you reached out, generously sharing your own powerful stories of grief and loss. Your cards, flowers, invaluable resources, and books brought comfort and a sense of shared understanding. We have profoundly felt your prayers for me and for Holli’s family during this incredibly difficult time. While the path forward is anything but easy, especially for Holli’s sweet loved ones, life possesses an undeniable momentum, a gentle push toward healing and renewal. I am immensely grateful for your patience, steadfast support, and deep understanding throughout this journey.
Beyond the grief, other personal factors have also made this year particularly challenging. I sometimes feel like the lone voice in the wilderness who would gladly trade the complexities of 2021 for the certainties of 2020. The last 6-9 months have pushed me to my absolute limits, stretching my emotional, mental, and spiritual capacity far beyond what I ever imagined possible. It’s been a relentless learning curve, prompting moments where I’ve simply wanted to declare, “Okay, I get it! Lessons learned! Notes taken! Changes made! Can we please stop now? I’M DONE!”
Yet, in a strange and somewhat miraculous twist, it’s only been in the last couple of weeks that a profound sense of gratitude has begun to bloom for these very mental, emotional, and spiritual trials. They have undeniably deepened my empathy and compassion across countless aspects of my life. I feel as though my soul has expanded, and my viewpoint has broadened immeasurably. A sudden realization hit me recently: I am no longer the same person I was just a year ago. These intense feelings and challenges, which I’ve had to face head-on with unwavering resolve, have served as a powerful crucible. They have stripped away so many unnecessary thoughts and beliefs I once held, fine-tuning my understanding of who I truly am, what I genuinely believe, the person I aspire to become, and most importantly, how I can best guide and support my children through similar situations and trials.
I understand this delve into personal introspection is quite deep, and I may have lost a few readers along the way with my philosophical ramblings. But this is the raw, unvarnished reality of my life right now, and I value our connection enough to be completely honest about what “real life” truly feels like. After these profound epiphanies, I feel oddly renewed and, dare I say, almost ready to tackle the remainder of 2021! Well, mostly. This journey of self-discovery, though arduous, has undeniably brought me closer to understanding my authentic self.
Now, let’s transition to some lighter, sunnier topics!
2) Summer Adventures and Family Journeys: Making Memories
So, how has your summer unfolded? Has it been a season of extensive travel, quiet staycations, dedicated work, or ambitious projects? I’m always curious to hear about the diverse ways you all embrace the warmer months.
As I hinted earlier, our summer has been considerably busier than previous years. This increased pace has been a mixed blessing – a source of wonderful new experiences, but also a significant trigger for anxiety for a dedicated homebody like myself. Navigating that balance has been a unique challenge.
One of the summer’s most impactful events was my husband Brian and our oldest son, Jackson, spending two and a half weeks in Belize. They were there for humanitarian work with HEFY, an experience that surpassed all our hopes for Jackson. It was undoubtedly fun, but also incredibly challenging and pushed him far beyond his comfort zone. Seeing his growth and the impact of his service has inspired his siblings, who are now actively discussing their own desires to participate in similar humanitarian efforts and brainstorming ways to earn money for future trips.
We also embarked on a cherished trip to Montana, spending quality time with my parents and extended family. These moments of connection with loved ones are always precious.
Meanwhile, my daughter Cam and I enjoyed a wonderful few days in San Diego with my mom. We explored the famous San Diego Zoo, relaxed on the beautiful beaches, and discovered the absolute delight of Bobboi gelato (truly a revelation!). The food scene also captivated us, leading us to eat at La Playa Taco Shop not once, but twice, because it was simply too delicious to resist.
While the girls enjoyed the California sun, the boys and Brian ventured north to Alaska for an epic fishing expedition. This trip was a long-held bucket list item, now proudly checked off, with over 200 pounds of fish in our freezer serving as delicious proof! Get ready for an abundance of fish tacos, because they are definitely coming our way.
{For those curious about their Alaskan adventure, they booked a deep-sea charter with Tall Tale Charters, and a thrilling salmon excursion (involving both a plane and a boat!) through Alaska West Air. These recommendations are completely unsponsored, but Brian enthusiastically urges me to share that he highly, highly recommends both operators. It was an amazing, truly once-in-a-lifetime experience for all of them, filled with unforgettable moments and incredible catches.}
Now, with our travel adventures behind us, we’re back home, and our teenagers are dedicating the rest of their summer to a flurry of work. From full-time and part-time jobs to diligent lawn mowing and entrepreneurial cookie dough sales, they are doing anything and everything to bolster their savings accounts. It’s wonderful to see their initiative and hard work in action!
3) Teenagers, Money, and Cultivating Financial Responsibility: Our Family’s Approach
This topic always feels like opening a Pandora’s Box, but I’m genuinely fascinated by how other parents navigate the complexities of “who pays for what” with their children and teenagers. Our family’s system has naturally evolved over the years, ebbing and flowing with changing needs and ages. However, we’ve currently settled on an approach that, for now, seems to be working quite well, though I always remind everyone it’s subject to change at any moment as we learn and adapt. We are constantly refining our strategy to foster financial literacy and independence in our children.
I’d love to hear your insights! How do you effectively manage money and chores with teenagers in your home and family? Please share your wisdom in the comments!
Our quick overview: we provide a modest monthly allowance (which Google tells me is on the rather frugal side!) until our children reach the age of 15 or 16.
The “Allowance Phase”: Learning to Save, Share, and Spend Wisely
During this initial phase of financial learning, our children are taught to allocate their allowance thoughtfully: half goes into savings, 10% is dedicated to church tithing, and the remainder is for their ever-growing list of “wants.” To supplement their spending money and gain practical experience, they often take on occasional jobs such as mowing lawns, selling cookie dough, or caring for neighbors’ pets. In these younger years, we, as parents, cover all their basic needs, including hygiene products, school clothes throughout the year, and new clothing as they grow. It’s a foundational stage for understanding basic budgeting and the value of a dollar.
As a key philosophical point, we do not pay our children for chores or responsibilities around the house or on our property. These tasks are simply part of the privilege of being a contributing member of our family – a concept we often deliver with a playful hint of sarcasm, but with underlying seriousness. We believe that contributing to the household is a fundamental life skill and fosters a sense of shared responsibility.
Around the age of 15 or 16, when they are mature enough to secure a full-time summer job and truly begin to understand the connection between effort and earnings, the monthly allowance is discontinued.
The “Financial Independence Phase”: Earning, Budgeting, and Prioritizing Needs
In this second phase, the primary expectation is for them to secure a full-time job during the summer months. Currently, one child is gaining invaluable experience working with a home builder, learning practical skills and the value of hard labor, while another is delighting customers at a local ice cream shop, honing customer service and teamwork. The principles of financial allocation remain similar but with greater stakes: half of their earnings go directly into savings, 10% is allocated for church tithing, and the rest serves as their spending money. Crucially, they are now also responsible for purchasing many of their own personal needs, like their favorite hair gel or specific clothing items, truly grasping the concept of discretionary spending versus essential purchases.
This is also the opportune time for us to help them establish their first checking account and acquire a debit card, teaching them the basics of banking and responsible card usage. As parents, we continue to cover four significant expenses to support their foundational well-being and independence: car insurance, gas for their transportation, their phone service, and a school clothes stipend*.
*This stipend is a carefully allocated sum of money that they must budget and use wisely for their school year wardrobe. The goal is to teach them financial planning and resist the temptation to splurge it all on, say, a brand-new pair of AirPods, lest they find themselves sporting short shorts and “high waters” all year – though, in a twist of fashion irony, that’s actually the style right now, so perhaps they’d be trendsetters! It’s a practical lesson in prioritizing needs over immediate wants.
On a related note, several of you graciously recommended the Dave Ramsey course for teens {unsponsored} last year, particularly when we were navigating school from home. My two oldest children completed the course, and I must say, it was *super* helpful for them. While I haven’t personally delved into Dave Ramsey’s books and offer no commentary on his broader financial philosophies, the teen-focused curriculum provided a fantastic foundation in basic personal finance principles. Was it always exhilarating and breathtakingly engaging? Not entirely, they found parts of it undeniably boring. YET, a year later, they still quote from it, especially the memorable phrase: “LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE, SO THAT YOU CAN LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE.” That alone speaks volumes about its impact! It taught them powerful lessons about debt, saving, and investing in their future.
Ultimately, we are learning and adapting as we go. My paramount focus is ensuring we maintain abundant, open, and honest communication with our children about the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ of our financial decisions and our clear expectations. There are no surprises; instead, it’s a process of continuous dialogue and working things through together. So far, everyone seems genuinely content with the arrangements, understanding that these systems are designed to empower them. As I mentioned, our approach remains flexible, evolving as we discern what truly works and what needs adjustment, always with their best interests at heart.
Right now, our children are fortunate to have ample opportunities for meaningful work, balanced with plenty of time to simply be kids (and yes, trust me, they do get bored, and they bicker with the best of them!).
I am genuinely eager to learn from your experiences: how do you manage the dynamic of teenagers, money, and work responsibilities within your family and home? Please, do share your strategies and insights!
4) The Power of Community: Rallying for Jared and Lisa
I know some of you may not be active on Instagram, so I wanted to share a deeply moving story about some very dear friends of ours, a story I recounted on my Instagram stories just last night. It’s a testament to the incredible power of community and collective kindness.
Jared and Lisa are remarkable parents to seven children and doting grandparents to three adorable little ones. Their lives were irrevocably altered four years ago when, at the young age of 50, Jared received the devastating diagnosis of Early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. This diagnosis shattered his world and broke the hearts of his family, particularly as they still had two sons in elementary school at the time. The weight of this news was immense, signaling a future far different from what they had envisioned.
The progression of the disease meant Jared could no longer work, placing an enormous financial burden on the family. His wife, Lisa, had been bravely supporting them on a part-time salary while simultaneously pursuing her degree online. Tragically, Jared’s health has recently begun to decline even more rapidly, reaching a point where Lisa had to make the agonizing decision to quit her job – their sole source of income – so she could become Jared’s full-time caregiver. While their families have rallied around them with endless support, time, and resources, they are all living through an unspeakably heartbreaking and challenging reality. The emotional and financial strain is immense.
Soon after his initial diagnosis, Jared shared a poignant wish with one of his sons: before he passed, he desperately wanted to embark on one last family trip. His dream was to create enduring memories with his beloved wife and children. Specifically, he yearned to take them back to Guatemala, a country he lived in for several years and fell deeply in love with. He always dreamt of sharing the vibrant culture and warmth of its people with his family, a place that held such a special spot in his heart.
Due to the overwhelming financial constraints, this family hadn’t been able to take a vacation together in years. Last night, I humbly asked our incredible community if we could make the unimaginable happen for this sweet family. Could we collectively pull together and raise enough funds to help fulfill Jared’s last, precious wish? Could we give them the gift of these irreplaceable memories?
Friends, your response has truly brought me to tears – more than once! I posted that request on Instagram stories less than 12 hours ago, and the outpouring of generosity has been nothing short of miraculous. So many of you commented, expressing a wish to give more, but humbly stating that all you could manage was $1 or $5. And yet, you gave it, willingly and with open hearts. I am witnessing a true miracle as I see how these numerous small donations are adding up to create something absolutely remarkable and profoundly powerful. It’s a testament to the incredible impact of collective giving. Please, never, ever believe that what you have to give isn’t enough. Whether it’s in the form of money, time, energy, or any other kindness, your contribution is significant. You are enough, and what you have to offer is genuinely making the world a better place – it is changing lives, one small act of generosity at a time.
Witnessing your collective efforts to support this family makes me aspire to be a better person every single day. I honestly feel surrounded by an immense sense of greatness and compassion. I’ll be sharing a comprehensive update soon to reveal the total amount that has been raised for Jared and Lisa, and I know it will be an inspiring testament to our community’s heart.
{If you feel moved to donate and contribute to Jared’s dream trip, you can do so easily via Venmo @MelAndFriendsGive or through PayPal at [email protected]. Every contribution, no matter the size, makes a difference.}
THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
5) The Unexpected Joys of Gardening: Discovering Armenian Cucumbers
After practically begging my amazing friends for these incredible Armenian cucumbers last year, I finally managed to plant them in my garden this season. And let me tell you, I have never been happier to have a vegetable garden! For those of you who have followed my journey for a while, you know my sentiments about gardening don’t always lean towards the positive. While I absolutely adore the bounty and the fresh harvest, the actual work of gardening often fills me with dread. I hope we can still be friends despite this confession!
What makes these “cucumbers” so special? Technically, Armenian cucumbers belong to the muskmelon family, not the traditional cucumber family. However, you would never guess it from their appearance or taste. The absolute best part about them is that they never develop a bitter taste, which can sometimes be an issue with regular cucumbers. They are consistently crisp, refreshing, and incredibly delicious, making them a perfect addition to salads, snacks, or simply enjoyed on their own. Their unique texture and mild flavor make them a standout in the summer garden.
6) Indulgence Alert: The Ultimate Oreo Cake Sensation
I felt it was my solemn duty to share this culinary revelation with you: I have made the utterly show-stopping Cookies and Cream Cake from Cake by Courtney four times in the last three months alone. This confection has quickly ascended to the ranks of one of the most delicious cakes in the history of ever, seriously challenging my long-held dessert preferences.
I’ll be honest, I’m generally not much of a cake person. Given a choice, I’d almost always opt for brownies, a rich chocolate lava cake, or some other decadent, non-cake treat. But this particular Cookies and Cream Cake has single-handedly changed my perspective on cake. It is simply incredible, a masterpiece of flavor and texture that captivates with every bite. The cake itself is incredibly moist and rich, providing the perfect canvas for the star of the show: the Oreo mousse filling. This filling is an absolute game-changer, next-level deliciousness that is creamy, perfectly sweet, and packed with irresistible cookie bits. It’s what truly elevates this dessert from great to unforgettable. (On two occasions, I’ve used Courtney’s superb chocolate cake recipe for the layers, and the other two times, I opted for my own favorite chocolate cake recipe – both versions yielded fantastically delicious results, proving the versatility and brilliance of the overall concept.) If you’re looking for a dessert to impress or simply to treat yourself, this is unequivocally it.
7) Current Favorites: Games, Books, and a Skincare Gem
It wouldn’t truly be a Friday Thoughts post without a game recommendation, would it? Seriously, we have a bit of a game “problem” in our household; we simply adore them. Our latest obsession comes from a thoughtful reader who recommended a brand-new game called Finding Sasquatch {aff. link}. I promptly purchased it from Amazon, and we have been absolutely loving it! We’ve played it daily since its arrival last week. It has a delightful Clue-like feel to it, but with a fun, Sasquatch-related theme and a few unique twists and turns that keep it fresh and engaging. It’s incredibly fun and works wonderfully with just two players, though it becomes even more lively and strategic with a few more participants. Highly recommend for your next game night!
Beyond games, I’ve recently immersed myself in a couple of audiobooks that I genuinely, deeply enjoyed. For fellow book lovers, these are definitely worth adding to your queue {aff. links for books}:
- As You Wishby Cary Elwes: This captivating audiobook tells the behind-the-scenes story of the making of “The Princess Bride” movie. If you’re a fan of the film, you’ll find it incredibly entertaining, filled with charming anecdotes and insights from the cast and crew.
- Lovely Warby Julie Berry: A beautifully crafted historical romance set during World War I, this book offers a truly interesting narrative viewpoint. It’s both moving and engaging, weaving together multiple storylines with grace and emotional depth.
- The Songbook of Benny Lamentby Amy Harmon: I absolutely adored this story. The audiobook production was exceptionally well done, bringing the characters and the unique setting to life. It’s a tale that lingers long after you finish listening.
- The Book of Lost Friendsby Lisa Wingate: Both Brian and I thoroughly enjoyed this historical fiction novel. It’s a compelling narrative that draws you in with its strong characters and impactful storyline, making for a truly memorable read.
- Anxious Peopleby Fredrik Backman: I found this book to be incredibly well-written and highly entertaining. Backman’s signature wit and the clever, circling storyline kept me guessing and thoroughly engaged from beginning to end. It’s a brilliant blend of humor, heart, and suspense.
Lastly, I have to rave about a product my friend recently gifted me: this prebiotic lotion. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure of the scientific meaning behind “prebiotic” in skincare, but what I do know is that this is the best lotion I have ever used. The exquisite smell of grapefruit and lemongrass, the luxurious feel on my skin, and the quality of the ingredients make it an absolute standout. It’s a bit on the pricier side, which means I’m hoarding it slightly, but it’s unequivocally worth recommending because I truly believe I need this lotion in my life and on my hands forever. It’s a small indulgence that brings immense pleasure and tangible benefits to my skin.
8) Fill in the Blank: Your Top Movie Recommendation
Now, it’s your turn to inspire me! I’m constantly on the lookout for compelling stories and engaging films. We often find ourselves stumped when we finally sit down for movie night, whether it’s a family affair or just me seeking some quiet entertainment. So, tell me: my favorite movie right now is __________. What can I say, I need some truly good recommendations! Please share your must-watch films in the comments, whether they’re family-friendly adventures, thought-provoking dramas, laugh-out-loud comedies, or simply cinematic masterpieces that have captivated you recently. I’m open to all genres and eager to discover something new and exciting!
Alright, friends! That wraps up a rather long, but hopefully engaging, edition of Friday Thoughts. Thank you so very much for being here. Thank you for being my people, my steadfast community. Thank you for your continued love, unwavering support, and the strength you consistently provide me through your comments and messages.
It’s a unique connection, I know. While I may not know most of you in real life, you honestly make my life richer and better in countless ways. I truly love your guts, your kindness, and your willingness to share. Our digital connection transcends the screen, fostering a genuine sense of camaraderie and mutual upliftment.
I have even more to share, but I’ll save it for next time to keep this post from becoming a novel! Don’t let me forget to talk about our kitchen table project, the living room remodel updates, my latest nail polish obsession, a crucial skin cancer update, another long-term review of my unsponsored Hatch alarm clock, and, of course, getting your valuable advice on a couple of important decisions we’re facing. Until then, take care, and byeeee!